Changes aren’t coming, they’re happening

Since my mini-stroke, I’ve started practicing self-control when I find myself stressed out, anxious, or angry. The very things that affected me and sent me on a night’s vacation at my local hospital are now the situations I work with to teach me or allow me to experience new outcomes, emotions, and consequences.

It has been over two months since the mini-stroke, and to be very honest, that jerk of a spasm threw me off track. However, “out of a negative comes a positive”, and it has also found/created me a new one.

The following are a few changes to my daily routine that have resulted in a newfound happiness in my life.

1. Stretching before bed.
No matter the time, I lay in the dark on my bedroom floor. As I stretch, I pray, meditate, or just think. I allow myself to “melt” into the ground and feel my day’s pressures sink away. Well, at least for the night. The following day is a new dragon to slay. Stretching every night helps me feel that I have made time for me. It’s only about 10 minutes, but it’s enough to feel sacred and important to myself.

2. Allowing myself hobby time.*
I love photography. I love cycling. I love writing. I love many things. How do I find time for them all? The answer is simple, I don’t. I have forced myself to learn to put down the toilet bowl cleaner, the dish sponge, the mop and let myself creatively get down. I don’t have a set time or day for this as I can’t force the creative juices to flow, but surprisingly, not stressing out as much about cleaning seems to help my brain give my creativity more freedom. Sure, my house has “suffered” a little bit, but it’s still standing, and I’m learning to be alright with that.

3. Setting realistic goals for myself.
My number one goal (aside from being Little Nugget’s mom and my better half’s wife) at the moment is to finish my birth educating curriculum by the end of the year. To be honest, I feel like a weenie for allowing myself so much time, but just as I’m setting limits and breaking down barriers for myself (contradictory, I know), I’m also learning what will keep me sane. With that being said, this goal is realistic for me as I try and take part in everything else I love doing.

4. Giving my savings account more love.**
I’ve started taking advantage of overtime at work, as a start. Whatever extra money I make from there is going straight into the savings account (aka the spending account). We have other accounts where money is deposited and not touched, but I’ve come to the conclusion that we need and deserve spending money to have fun, pay for car repairs, or buy holiday presents. (Duh!) I’m learning to set feelings of guilt for spending money on anything other than bills aside. All work and no play makes people go crazy, right? Or in my case, sends me to the hospital.

5. Respecting, respecting, respecting.
I am practicing and giving respect to anyone and everyone. This isn’t to say that I’m disrespectful, but I’m working on pre-judging less (or not judging at all) and showing love, happiness, and smiles to everyone who crosses my path. (Don’t judge me, I am human.) It’s resulted in brighter days.

6. Staying away from the negative.
This momma has enough of her own negativity that plagues her mind, so there is no room for anymore of that. After spending a few of my adolescent years in therapy and struggling on and off with depression during my young adulthood, anything other than positivity is not allowed in my head or in my life. I will continue to be the shoulder to cry on or the ears to listen for those who need me, but I’m learning how to take things less personal and allow them to roll off my shoulders for my family’s and my own sake. I’ve concluded that it’s only fair.

I’m a work in progress. I’m learning about myself. Talking to myself. Taking care of myself. Loving myself more. Thank you for your support by reading and for being part of this process.

I am happy. I am strong. I am Big Nugget.
I am happy. I am strong. I am Big Nugget.

Cheers to self love!

*I made it seem that I’m the only one that cleans, but that is incorrect. My better half cleans as well.
**I am also not the only one who makes an income. My better half does too. =)

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