It’s a like-hate relationship

Warning: some of you may not like some of the things I have written about the “beloved” Mother’s Day holiday, and that’s alright. I simply need to get some things off my chest about this day that I have a like-hate relationship with. (No, I do not love this “holiday” and that is why it’s a like-hate relationship.) And hey, if it causes you to think and reflect on things, then I’ve done something good in my book.

According to History.com, “The American incarnation of Mother’s Day was created by Anna Jarvis in 1908 and became an official U.S. holiday in 1914. Jarvis would later denounce the holiday’s commercialization and spent the latter part of her life trying to remove it from the calendar.” Now, let’s reflect on the last part for a second. Jarvis, the creator of Mother’s Day, spent her later years trying to take back what she had done. Why is this? Well, I’m not 100% certain since I didn’t get to talk to her myself, but I definitely have a theory. Mother’s Day has been exploited to the point of creating monsters. Yes, I’m exaggerating here when I say monsters, but I have encountered some moms who expect so much from their spouses and children that I feel it just extinguishes the flame that should be ignited by the reason why they are being celebrated. The commercialization of the holiday has forced moms to believe that they need to expect this or that, and if they don’t get anything but a “thank you” or “happy mother’s day”, it has been a waste of a “holiday”. Now they must wait for next year for their due appreciation.

In the defense of these moms though (not that I’m excluding myself from this group as I’m sure we’ve all had one of those Mother’s Days), I understand that for m a n y moms it is the only day of the year that they’re actually thanked for the endless list of things they do for their family, but then this brings me to my next point. Spouses and children need to change the way they see the “holiday”, too. They need to understand every day is mother’s day. No, this isn’t to say that spouses and children need to give their moms/wives/girlfriends flowers, a card, and a necklace every day of the year, but any of the following may be nice to shower that special mother in their life with more often than just once a year:

“Thank you for washing and putting away my underwear!” ::follow with a tight hug::

“I love the way you tell me ‘have a great day’ every morning when you drop me off at school.”

“May I pour you your coffee this morning? Thank you for preparing my coffee every other morning.” ::follow with a passionate kiss::

“I see you. I appreciate you. I love you with all of my heart!”

These are just some ideas, and no I’m not being sarcastic. I’m being absolutely serious. This may be confirmation that I’m a holiday scrooge, but I’m just tired of seeing so much stress come from children and spouses, and disappointment come from moms. There has to be something that can make this “holiday” better for everyone. How about we just start by showing our moms a little more love on a monthly, weekly, or daily basis? You choose how often, just start by making a change.

When the going gets tough, mom's get to work.
When the going gets tough, mom’s get to work. Motherhood isn’t always fun, but it sure is worth it.

Cheers to all the mommas out there!

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