Like any other human being, I’ve had my doubts, fears, anxieties, and recently, there was a day that all these emotions got the best of me. I felt myself retreating from the relationships that are most important to me. I misplaced these negative emotions that I found plaguing my heart and mind, and instead made myself believe that the issues existed with my better half and my capacity of being a mother. Wallowing in the anger of my deceptive emotions, I almost (just almost) fell into the dark pit I work so hard to stay out of. The pit that I know like the back of my hand. I tried so hard to remind myself that this journey does not have space or time for that pit, so I did what I thought best. I communicated. Some hurtful things may have been said, mostly confusing as I myself didn’t know exactly what was happening inside my heart and mind. Thank God for the better half I married. His patience, love, and “realness” never falls short of what is necessary to help me get up and wipe myself off. His belief in who I am and what I am capable of are proof (time and time again) of God’s work through the people that surround me. It’s amazing what communication, vulnerability, and a tiny bit of faith can do to your soul. It’s been a week that has required work, but dang has that work paid off. There’s still so much toning, strengthening, and most importantly, repairing to be done on this growing momma, but then again, all of that work should never end. We are ever evolving human beings, and with that evolution there will be obstacles testing us.
One thing I’ve learned this week is that my character is as fierce as I allow it to be, and sometimes I just need to let it shine.
Cheers to communicating to relieve our anxieties!