My mom recently asked me when we were going to have Zion’s ears pierced. In the Mexican culture, it is assumed that parents will pierce their little girl’s ears as soon as it is safe to do so—after they get their first set of vaccinations. Before having children, I thought that it was just something parents did, that it was no big deal. Now that I have a daughter, I find myself analyzing how my decisions will impact her now and in the future. Having a daughter, I understand why little girl’s ears may go unpierced. It is a big deal.
Motherhood is helping me learn to mentally navigate as many of the potential (parenting) paths I can take and how I will explain, understand, and accept the consequences because of them.
After feeling my mother’s pressure to accessorize our daughter’s ears, I replied that we were not going to pierce her ears yet. I kept my answer vague since I had not given it thought and had not talked to Josh about it. That night, I mentioned my mother’s question to Josh. He brought up a great question provoking a thoughtful and beautiful conversation about piercing and parenting. “Why does it matter?” His point made sense. Why does it matter? It doesn’t. It wouldn’t make her any less girlier if we didn’t nor any more girlier if we did.
Josh and I decided that we will wait to pierce our daughter’s ears until she expresses interest in it. Our intention in waiting is to encourage Zion to learn to make positive decisions about her body, respect and honor her body, and how to keep her body healthy. We hope to be able to answer all of her questions, and help find answers to the ones we can’t. As Zion’s parents, we don’t want to take away important experiences from her or us. I say these experiences are important because they have so much teaching and learning potential. They are rich in lessons of value and skill. At least, they do for us.
Our collective decision makes me proud to say that Josh and I make a great team when it comes to parenting; however, this hasn’t always been the case. During Little Nugget’s infancy, it was difficult for me to see us as a team because of the dynamics between my own parents. I had to learn that Josh and I need to develop our own relationship aside from the one where our roles are husband and wife. I have since better adapted to our roles as mother and father—slower than I’d like, but it’s happening. Since Little Nugget, our relationship as parentals has strengthened and we both make an effort to keep our communication open, especially when it comes to parenting decisions and methods.
There are nights where Josh and I find ourselves sitting on our couch talking about how vital it is to be a team. We listen to each other explain our positions on disciplinary actions. We talk about our hopes for our future and that of our children—what we hope to teach, learn and/or get better at. Most importantly, we try to remember to affirm each other. My heart feels deep gratitude for this journey I am learning to share with my husband. Seeing him wholeheartedly be involved ignites my soul with deeper love for him.
God is good.
Cheers to those people who help us positively raise our children!