Little Nugget has been driving me a little bonkers lately. Ok, I’ll be honest, for over a month now. He was a high needs baby, and I’d like to say that he’s toned it down, but it only seems like he needs more attention as he gets older. No, I am not complaining, I am simply venting. (Yes, there’s a difference.) He needs a lot of physical and mental stimulation, he loves one-on-one attention, and he is super intelligent. All good things…when measured.
Allow me to stop here and acknowledge that it’s not all Little Nugget. I am part of the dysfunction. I know that I need to have more patience, and I’m working on it. I’m working on being Zion and Little Nugget’s mom at the same time instead of the current hold-on-let-me-put-Zion-down-so-I-can-give-you-some-attention situation. The learning process seems ever-changing as both children require different things at different times. I know this balance will get better as Zion gets older and requires less of me. But then again, who really knows? What I do know for certain is that I better stay on my toes.
Last night, as I was trying to get Little Nugget into the shower, he pulls his usual time-wasting tactics. I was already a little bit on edge because, well I can’t tell you why since I don’t remember, but I know that my patience was wearing thin. Little Nugget wasn’t making it any better. After a few times of requesting him to get in the shower, I lost it and screamed at him. Usually, Little Nugget would instantly break into loud cries and heavy tears, but this time was different. (Seems like he might be catching onto me.) He opened his arms wide and said, “Give me a hug mama.” I went in for a hug. He wrapped his arms around me. We let go. As I stepped back from our hug he smoothly says, “You fill my heart with love,” as he brings his hand over his heart.
::let me take a necessary pause as my heart melts all over again::
Needless to say, I felt like a shitty mom after that. I was feeling rotten while melting into the cracks of our linoleum floor. He’s learning how to get away with things by using love. I better get on my A-game before he masters it.
Cheers to keeping a light heart!