Back to it

I went on a hike today. First time in over a month. (According to my Instagram, my last hike was July 6th.) I can’t properly explain how free I feel. Well, my spirit feels free.

In the mountains, I have undisturbed space to think and talk to myself. The absence of man-made noise allows me to hear myself and connect with the singing birds and slithering lizards that startle me every other step. It allows me to hear my heart, which also means I become aware of my needs. I stop running my mouth and I start taking in, understanding, and processing what it is that I, Big Nugget, need.

I went from feeling guilty about taking time for myself—right after I started working from home—to not giving myself any time. I have experienced the effects of neglecting myself, which has proven to me that I need to consciously schedule self-care time. (Think about a couple neglecting each other.) I’ve understood that I need to date myself too.

According to Google, ‘date’ is a noun and it means, “a social or romantic appointment or engagement.” I crossed out the romantic part because I want to keep ‘date’ in terms of a platonic-kind of love, the kind you have for your children or best friend. This isn’t to say that I don’t think couples shouldn’t have a platonic relationship too.

It had been over a month that I had gone out on a date with myself. Thinking about this in terms of my children, I could not go over a month without seeing my nuggets! I could not go over a month without seeing my husband, so this is a big deal. I am a big deal…in my own life. I have to be, otherwise I start loosing it. I become cranky, annoyed, angry, frustrated, you name it, and this affects my family. My friends. My entire surroundings. It’s a ripple effect. I have become conscious of this.

Life doesn’t allow me to date my lover everyday—I have to confess right now that I still suck at postpartum dates with Josh, and I need to work on this too!—or my children or my mom, sister or best friend, so I can’t set an unrealistic goal to date myself everyday. What I can do is do something for myself everyday. What do I mean by this? I’ll share my goal with you as an example, and please keep in mind that this is my goal not yours, so don’t compare. My current (realistic) goal is to hike three times a week. Hiking provides me with a solid one to two hours of hanging out with myself. My daily goal is to dance at least one song a day to keep my vibrations high, or in other words, to keep my sanity.

I look back at how far I’ve come since my TIA two years ago, and I am patting myself on the back. I’m hugging and high-fiving myself. I am no longer ashamed of saying that I think I’m pretty freaking awesome. I am no longer ashamed to admit that I like taking care of my emotional and spiritual wellbeing, which is fundamental to feeling physically and mentally well.

I am balanced, empowered through my vulnerability, and ready to gain another wave of momentum.

Cheers to self-care!



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