Truth is…I know that I’m in denial. I wish that this was possible. I understand there will be a day when she will need me to take care of her. I realized that I have actually been taking her and her care for granted.
I was a hormonal jerk to my mom during my adolescent years. Rolling my eyes and giving the cold shoulder was my expertise when it came to my relationship with my mom. I found it annoying how she wanted me to help her with everything—at least, that’s what it felt like. On top of feeling like she asked a lot from me, I thought she was overbearing. I want to feel guilty about ever feeling that way towards her, but I won’t allow it. Instead of feeling guilty, I need to be grateful and change the way I interact with her. Thanks to my reflections, I feel mindful enough not to take her for granted like that again.
It wasn’t until Z Nugget was born (that’s a long time, isn’t it?) that I learned to be humble with my mom and lovingly assist her when she needs help…without rolling my eyes.
As I notice Little Nugget needing less of me, I have to force myself to acknowledge that it’s because years have gone by and we’ve all gotten older, that—obviously—includes my mom. I see how age is creeping up on her, how the years of unconditional devotion to her loved ones has slowed her down. Don’t get me wrong, she is still very active and healthy, but there’s less intensity, just as with me. (I’m afraid to do a somersault now!)
What I’m trying to get at is that I need to give my mom the best of me while I have her. Today, I feel like I began that journey. Today, I gave myself the space to spend a day with my mom outside of her house. (Changing the scenery made a huge difference.) The Nuggets and I accompanied my mom to run an errand in the morning and after that we spontaneously made plans. We grabbed lunch, walked around a succulent ranch, went to the park, and finished our day laughing over some frozen yogurt.
Returning a tiny portion of the love my mom has given me gave my mom a different energy, a healthier and livelier energy. She seemed eager to adventure, and seeing her this way made me feel like a good daughter. This changed my perspective on what it means to take care of her.
I feel peace knowing that investing time in my mom and gratefully experiencing life with her will help me appreciate when it is my turn to care for her.
Cheers to our moms!