The Nuggets are in bed, my lover is showering, and I’m sitting on the kitchen floor at the time of writing. I’m still in my day’s clothes knowing I should be showering before it gets later, but I’m feeling too inspired and fulfilled to do anything other than write these emotions out.
I just realized, I’m on a birthday high. I have completed my 29th revolution around the magnificent star I am fortunate to wake up to every morning. I entered a new birth year. The weekend set in, I processed it, and I am feeling grateful for this growth in perspective.
If you read my past birthday posts, you’ll find I felt apprehensive about my birthday. That started when I became a mom. Once I had a daily visual reminder of how fast life moves along—regardless of anyone—facing my birthday every year felt like a hard pill to swallow. Facing my birthday every year reminded me that I was getting older, and so were my lover, my Nuggets, my parents, siblings, everyone I love and care for. Every birthday meant I had less time with these people.
I’ve never been great at handling the time leading up to the “see you later”. Even when my better half and I were dating, the hour or two before we parted were the worst. I’d be bitter our time together was almost over that I acted like a jerk. This is how I feel I have treated my birthday in the past.
If I recall correctly, my birthday perspective has shifted a little each year, and this year it continues shifting in the positive direction. I’m starting 29 with a stronger awareness that there is no going back to yesterday. There is no rewind or do-over. Whoever I love, I need to enjoy today. This birthday, I did just that. I am striving to continue doing it until my third decade.
We’ll see what clarity next year brings me.
Cheers to life!