29 starts like this

The Nuggets are in bed, my lover is showering, and I’m sitting on the kitchen floor at the time of writing.  I’m still in my day’s clothes knowing I should be showering before it gets later, but I’m feeling too inspired and fulfilled to do anything other than write these emotions out.

I just realized, I’m on a birthday high. I have completed my 29th revolution around the magnificent star I am fortunate to wake up to every morning. I entered a new birth year. The weekend set in, I processed it, and I am feeling grateful for this growth in perspective.

If you read my past birthday posts, you’ll find I felt apprehensive about my birthday. That started when I became a mom. Once I had a daily visual reminder of how fast life moves along—regardless of anyone—facing my birthday every year felt like a hard pill to swallow. Facing my birthday every year reminded me that I was getting older, and so were my lover, my Nuggets, my parents, siblings, everyone I love and care for. Every birthday meant I had less time with these people.

I’ve never been great at handling the time leading up to the “see you later”. Even when my better half and I were dating, the hour or two before we parted were the worst. I’d be bitter our time together was almost over that I acted like a jerk. This is how I feel I have treated my birthday in the past.

If I recall correctly, my birthday perspective has shifted a little each year, and this year it continues shifting in the positive direction. I’m starting 29 with a stronger awareness that there is no going back to yesterday. There is no rewind or do-over. Whoever I love, I need to enjoy today. This birthday, I did just that. I am striving to continue doing it until my third decade.

We’ll see what clarity next year brings me.

Cheers to life!

 

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