The tatas were freed at 30

So … I stopped wearing a bra on my 30th birthday. It’s been 2 glorious weeks of not feeling constricted to the width of my 34” band, which was probably more like 36 because I had the same bras for as long as Z Nugget has been alive (over 2 years). When Z Nugget was born, I tossed all of my underwire bras and just never stopped wearing my nursing bras. I guess it was inevitable that I’d decide to commit to freeing my tatas for good.

It’s been a journey.

A womyn not wearing a bra is no big deal, right? Actually, it’s a bigger deal than one would think. To me, it didn’t become a big deal until I began receiving questions and awkward looks when my nipples were out for the entire world to see, but whose business is it anyways? (I’ll share a funny story in another post.)

Anyways, my intention for this post was simply to share that my tatas have been freed for the last two weeks and they are loving it. I am loving it.

I would love to open the dialogue on this subject: womyn not wearing bras and why it’s so distracting when they don’t. We need change in our society around this matter — and many others, duh! — and I look forward to engaging with you about these topics.

Tata for now. (Pun intended.)

Big Nugget

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Waking up my virtual baby from its nap

It has been nearly a year since I’ve blogged on my own page. I’ve been away from my virtual baby for 10 months, and I think it’s time to wake this baby giant from it’s nap.

I’ve gained some followers during my leave, and I’d like to welcome the newcomers to my little space as well as thank those who stuck with me during my hiatus.

Where was I this entire time? I don’t quite know where, but I do know that I was doing a shit ton of growing. (There’s growth number one for you … I’ve accepted that saying “bad” words every so often doesn’t make me a “naughty” person.)

During my leave, I experienced some life-changing things:
1. Tried network marketing as a career – not my cup o’ tea
2. Wiped my plate clean and decided to dedicate myself to full-time motherhood – like, for realsies this time
3. Quit social media – BEST decision of my life
4. Discovered the magic of my yoni/cunt/vagina/womb space/womyn landscape – I recommend this for every womyn (FYI: will be writing A LOT about this)
5. Turned 30 – I have nothing but great words about this age thus far

I considered completely leaving this space behind to start a new one — I am in a different space than I was 5 years ago when I started my blog — but I felt it wasn’t right to abandon a space which holds a lot of the puzzle pieces that make up who I am now. My page and content, you will notice, will slowly shift to a new energy.

I hope you continue to ride the ebbs and flows of life with me. I love that you hang out with me. I promise that you will learn something about yourself around here. I sure have, and if it wasn’t for your companionship, I wouldn’t have the support I need to keep my space alive, so thank you.

I look forward to sharing the new bits and pieces of me with you. Stay tuned, and please, I encourage you to engage with me — open dialogue about life really turns me on.

Big Nugget

A new memory of us

I recently posted in a mom Facebook group I’m a part of asking for help. I asked for date ideas. See, I lack the ability to plan time with my lover, not that I’m using this as an excuse not to. I have recognized that it’s a cycle. I start feeling disconnected from my better half, I panic and begin attempting to plan dates with him, but feel overwhelmed by the vague connection between us and this ends up killing my creativity in date planning.

I got about 16 comments in response to my request for advice on the Facebook group. There were comments with suggestions, advice, support and solidarity. It was calming to read that I wasn’t alone, and to see such an extensive list of affordable date ideas.

Within 24 hours of having posted my request to the mom group, as if our energies were aligning, my lover came home from work mentioning he wanted to play a song for me, a song that made him think of me. The Nuggets were put to bed, my lover and I sat on the couch, and he played the song. The song was “Love” by Kendrick Lamar. It was the first time I had heard it.

I sat listening to the song. My lover ended up laying on my lap. We didn’t say anything. We seemed to be in distant worlds absorbing the lyrics, the rhythm of the song, but at the same time, so close that our hearts felt the warmth I remember from before we became parents. At least, that’s what I felt and am confident that he did too because as he lifted his head from my lap, he was wiping tears from his cheeks.

This song has now become the trigger of a new memory that my heart and our relationship needed. This song has simplified my ideas of what our dates should be — time together to indulge in the love we have for each other. However, this time still needs to be outside of our living space and away from our children.

Now, when I hear this song on the radio, my stomach is invaded by what feels like 1000 butterflies. I get giddy and I feel a warmth that leads me wanting to be wrapped in my lover’s arms.

I’ve said this before, but there’s no harm in saying it again. I need to work harder at tending to the fire and passion that made me a mother. I want my husband to love his wife before loving the mother of his children. Does that make sense?

Through the help with this post, I transmit that I need to focus more energy on balancing my role as a wife, mother, and individual. However, I know it’s easier said than done.

bday116
Over twelve years ago.