Television is bad for my Nuggets.

Truth is…not all screen time is bad.

When I was pregnant with Little Nugget, I was like many other first-time parents, naive of what parenting would really be like. I had my expectations of what my baby would act like, how he would respond to my discipling once he understood, and thought that I’d get enough rest to be happy being a mom all the time. It’s all right if you’re laughing at with me because I am too.

I was awakened to the reality of parenthood after surviving the first night with Little Nugget. Okay, maybe not that soon because I did have a honeymoon phase with Little Nugget, which ended as soon as my lover returned to work.

One of the expectations I had for myself as a parent was that I would not allow Little Nugget to watch “a lot” of television. (The meaning of “a lot” obviously varies depending on the parent and their style.) As a baby, Little Nugget didn’t care about what was on the screen of a television, tablet, or mobile device, but then there came the day where he realized that a screen could provide cool things to watch. (He was about 2 years old.) When this happened, there were days where watching television was the only thing he wanted to do.

Experiencing Little Nugget crying over not being allowed to watch television made me feel like a negligent mom. It led me to ask myself, “Had I allowed him to watch so much television that watching television was all he cared to do? Had I ruined my child? Would he like to do anything other than sit in front of a screen?” I eventually learned that I wasn’t alone in the whole television worry thing, and realized that I was over-stressing about screen time when in reality it wasn’t all bad.

I still have my issues with Little Nugget constantly asking me to watch television first over doing anything else, but reflecting on these issues has brought me a method that I hope will bring me peace and patience with this area of parenting.

When Little Nugget asks me to watch television, I will ask him to explain what he has learned from the show he wants to watch. If it’s a lesson I agree with, I’ll go into more detail with him to ensure he’s not just making it up in order to comply with my request. If it’s a lesson I don’t agree with, I’ll do the same; however, I have to ensure to keep my mothering emotions in check. If I’m not aware, I can turn our conversation into a disciplinary situation, which is unfair for Little Nugget because I ask for his thoughts. Disciplining him simply because he answered honestly would give negative results.

I’ve given this method a few tries since coming up with it. I’ve found that Little Nugget appreciates being asked about the shows he likes to watch, almost as if he feels heard and respected. He enjoys giving me the small details about his favorite shows, which makes me realize that the details I would find insignificant are actually important to my Little Nugget.

I feel like this method may bring Little Nugget and I closer, opening lines of communication that I didn’t know were closed…all because I allow him to watch television.

Approaching screen time in this manner has helped me ease some of my anxieties, and furthermore accept that not all screen time is bad.

Cheers to finding different avenues of dealing with our parental apprehensions!

When I experience moments like this, I realize how hard I am on myself. I can’t be doing too bad of a job if Little Nugget enjoys the outdoors just as much as television, right?  It takes hard work to remind myself.

The more I have, the happier I am.

Truth is…I used to think that material things could make me happy, I now know that the above statement is false. I’ve experienced the perfect concoction of events at the right time—I had a turning point in my life and watched the documentary “Minimalism” not too long after.

With the help from this concoction, I have been able to detach myself from material things—so far only mentally until I can purge and detach myself physically—and understand that things don’t have potential energy (in a figurative sense), people and experiences do. My perspective of the true meaning of my life has changed. I appreciate more of what I have instead of waste time wishing I had what others enjoy.

I know I’m headed in the right direction because I used to complain about our small and old apartment, but now I find myself calling it our home without thinking about it. The way I perceive our apartment is no longer about what it looks like, but about the purpose it serves in our life. It provides shelter and security, and the fact that we’ve made all 600+ square feet of it work perfectly for all 5 of us—this includes our dog—makes it awesome. We’ve gained happiness and a deeper sense of fulfillment. (I think I’m safe in speaking for my lover and myself.) This space is our home because we make memories in it, not because it’s big enough, fancy enough, or because it stores all of our belongings.

My turning point happened when I acknowledged and embraced that I am a mother of two and no longer wish to have more children. I was liberated from the weird baby-fever I’d get when I saw pregnant women or newborn babies. In reflecting, I found I felt that the baby-fever came from the social pressure (as I interpret it) to have more children.

There is freedom behind understanding that no one’s life is suitable for me other than my own. Just because my friend has 5 children, is a happy camper and is totally sane, doesn’t mean that I would feel the same if I had 5 children of my own.

Add “Minimalism” to the mix of me taking my life back from the misconception that is marketed to us, and I am experiencing peace, peace like I’ve never felt before. Never ever felt before. I am experiencing the end of feeling unhappy no matter how much stuff I have or don’t have, or from feeling jealous of other people for what I don’t even need.

Cheers to finding our true happiness!

How many shelves of stuff do you have? It doesn’t have to be movies or a collection of any kind, it can be anything. How many of those shelves do you use on a weekly basis? What’s motivating you to keep the shelves of things that you never use? I have found my answer. Nothing. Nothing is motivating me, so minimalizing it is! As always, I’m excited to share this journey with you!

The only forms of birth control are hormonal or to abstain altogether.

Truth is…there are other options including those that help better understand my body.

I didn’t plan to write this today, but reflecting on this area of my life was fitting being that it is International Women’s Day.

On April 20th of last year, I experienced a Fifth Vital Sign class about reproductive health. It was this class that opened my eyes to the realm of making informed choices about my body outside of pregnancy. You’d think that because I’m educated on childbirth I’d be educated on my own general reproductive health. This is false…and sad if you ask me. It still boggles my mind that I know how to have a baby but don’t know much about everything around making a baby. I mean, I know that when sperm meets egg, fertilization happens and a baby is made, but what happens before an egg is fertilized, or what happens if it isn’t? Sure, I know what menstruation looks like—some times it looks like murder—and feels like, but I didn’t know more than that. Now, I’m excited to report that I am coming up on two weeks of tracking my cycle, and already have learned so much.

After deciding that I was done growing my own children, I was forced to face the difficult decision of what birth control method I was going to use. I say it’s difficult because there are numerous options to choose from, and it is overwhelming. Without the necessary support, it is easy to make a hasty decision and choose an incompatible option.

I am grateful for the friends I have met on social media for they have been the ones who have strengthened my belief in my decision-making when it comes to my reproductive health. These amazing women have stood in solidarity with me, holding space for my being during some of my most trying times, and have been great resources as I journey this path to self-discovery.

The method I have decided to try out is Fertility Awareness. The linked blog lists a few situations why a woman might choose to use this style of birth control…

“1) You want to postpone or avoid conceiving a baby and don’t want to use hormonal, invasive, barrier, or permanent methods of birth control.
2) You DO want to have a baby and would like to plan intercourse for the optimum time to conceive.
3) You have long or irregular cycles and want to figure out what the Deuce is going on with your body.
4) You would like to gain a greater level of body awareness.
5) You are Catholic and want to use the only method of family planning approved by The Pope himself.” (Kindara.com)

Looking at the list above makes me realize that there is more than one reason why this method may be the last method I decide to try. With the exception of situation number 2, they all apply to me. (I’m partial on number 5, but that’s a post for another day.)

Basal body temperature, cervical fluid, flow of menstruation, cervix height, openness, and firmness, you bet there is a learning curve that has been frustrating and liberating at the same time. With the help of fertility awareness, I am confident that I will accomplish my goal of knowing myself better than any of my healthcare providers ever will.

These are exciting times for me. I am no longer a rookie mom (not saying that I’m experienced) and am on my way to a new level of consciousness. I invite you to travel this new journey alongside me…if you haven’t gotten tired of traveling all the others with me.

Cheers to self-awareness and being your own primary healthcare provider!

I am learning to be fierce for myself and for her.

Birthing a daughter was important for me in ways I never knew were necessary for my wellbeing.

The women that make up The Fifth Vital Sign. These two kicked off the desire for me to take charge of my reproductive health. Thank you Kelsey (left) and Emily (right)! Keep changing the world with your passion for women!