I was on a role for two weeks. I had so much energy, so much inspiration that I wrote 7 blog posts and scheduled them all within a two week period. Then, I went silent. It wasn’t my intention to return with a bang and leave you hanging.
On the day of my last scheduled blog post, April 9th, I woke up to a phone call no one ever wants to receive. With my eyes still heavy with sleep, I saw my sister’s picture show up on my phone. My womb instantly felt nervous. My sister was calling to let me know that Xavi had died. (If you’d like to learn about Xavi, please visit my linked blog post, and please, if it speaks to your heart, consider donating to the GoFundMe page as Xavi’s family is still needing the help.)
It has been a heavy two weeks as so many people are feeling the loss of someone who exemplified strength, faith, hope, and love.
I am grateful that my journey on this physical earth continues, but I do not tread lightly. I know that Xavi spent 15 years here with us to teach us something about what life should and should not look like, and I am taking his life to heart.
Thank you, Xavi, for teaching me that life is far too short and delicate to live a life of shame, fear, and hate. I choose to continue celebrating his life by celebrating mine.
I will be back to share more about my growth, process, and journey.
Thank you for being here with me.
Woah! Was my title too bold of a statement? Prior to reading Cunt by Inga Muscio, I most likely would have thought so too. Now, I enjoy saying it to myself.
I love my cunt! I make this statement as an introduction to another important area of my life. I want to make sure that I’m not only sharing about my freed tatas or the wonders quitting social media has done for me. I want to transmit some of the power this exploratory journey I’ve been traveling with my yoni/vagina/cunt/womb space/vulva has brought me, too. (You choose the word that you feel most comfortable with because I want you to stick around to have these important conversations with me.)
I’ve been exploring this sacred space of mine.
Before I go any further, I want to make it clear that just because I’m speaking about my vagina does not mean that it is solely sexual work that I’m doing with myself. Although, yes, some of it is, but the sexual is not my sole focus. My overall wellbeing is my focus, and my sexuality it only a piece of what makes me a whole.
(I’ll share more about how the exploration began in another post.)
Going back to the word cunt … I’ve learned how to appreciate this word that has been used for so long to degrade womyn. Now, I trust that if more womyn took ownership of this powerful word, we’d be a step closer to taking back the magic we’re born with. As a friend of mine said, “I love the word. I feel it’s the word that best describes a vagina, hard on the outside and soft in the middle.”
Say the word cunt aloud. You’ll feel the hard c and t as you begin and end the word, and feel the soft u and n as you travel through the middle. I’m serious. I challenge you to say it at least once. It’s alright to whisper it and I understand if you feel ashamed, embarrassed, or guilty for saying it — I felt that way at the beginning and still do sometimes. I invite you to feel the negative and acknowledge the years of damage that are before us in order to begin healing what’s ahead of us.
What kind of emotions does the word cunt bring up for you?
Are you addicted to social media and need a break or want to quit altogether but feel like you can’t?
This is a real thing. People are addicted to social media. You may not be, but many others around you are in one way or another. The more I find myself explaining to people why I walked away from social media, the more it makes me aware of how sucked in we are — we as in our society as well as we as individuals. People are amazed to learn that I could/would quit social media when I was such an “inspiration” on there.
(My intention here is not to talk shit about social media or its users. My intention is to start the conversation of where we are with it.)
When I explain to people why I quit, more often than not, I get one of these two responses, “I wish I could quit social media,” or “I’ve been wanting to take a break from social media.” Having a conversation with people about this topic never ceases to cause some sort of reflection in the person I am engaging with, and this is thrilling for me. It’s thrilling because I feel I am making a tiny contribution to bringing people back to the real world, back to the place of beauty, where even if there are bad things happening, there are good ones happening, too. There isn’t a slew of bad news or nasty memes degrading a group of people trying to jump out at me every other time I check my phone. When I check my phone now, I only see text messages or missed calls.
Social media addiction is a real thing and I want to help those who want a way out. I know what both sides feel like, and I want to stay on this greener pasture — I mean this metaphorically and literally.
If you resonate with any of this, I’d like to challenge you to make a memory this week for you and only you. Don’t document any of it. Enjoy the moment and be present with it. Be present with all of the emotions that come with it, even the negative ones like fighting yourself for wanting to take a picture or record a video. Let yourself feel. If you try this, let me know how it goes. (There is no failing. You accomplish something even if you don’t get through the moment without documenting it.)
If you’d like to read more on my experience with unplugging from social media, I invite you to read the linked blog post I wrote for FitBottomedMamas.com.